Rocks, Pebbles, and Sand

I'm sure you've heard the old story. I've heard it many times in church and in school, and now I've read it again in my Life Book which is the guide book I've been using to change unhealthy habits in my life. It goes like this.

A teacher places a Mason jar filled with rocks in front of his class and asks if the jar is full? "Yes," the students say. He takes a pail with smaller pebbles and pours them into the jar, shaking it until they fill the spaces between the rocks. "Is the jar full?" he asks. "Yes," they say again. The teacher then adds a scoop of sand to the jar. The grains fall between the larger and smaller rocks. "Is the Mason jar full?" he asks. The class inspects the jar; there is no more room for anything else. The teacher smiles, grabs a pitcher with water, and he proceeds to fill the jar to the brim.

The teacher explains that the demonstration is an analogy. He tells the that the jar is like their own life. The rocks are the big things in their life, such as their family, their partner, their health, and your hopes and dreams.

The pebbles are other things that give life meaning, like friendships, a job, or hobbies. And the sand and water are the small things that fill in the rest of our time.

The point of the demonstration is that if you fill your life with the small stuff, how will you ever be able to put in the big important stuff? Everything in the jar fits just like the components of your life but you need to consider how the small stuff fits around the bigger things, not vice- versa.

(Andersen, Dr. W.S., Your Life Book, 2019)

I feel like this is a perfect time to reflect on the meaning of this analogy and identify the things that are taking up space in my life's jar. Where am I putting them? Do I need to rearrange some things? Are there things that I should be putting into my jar that I'm not? Are there things taking up space in my jar that shouldn't? Are there rocks that should be sand? Is there sand that should be rocks? The new year is a perfect time to reflect and ask these questions and to evaluate if the things taking up space in my jar are attracting my hopes and dreams #LawofAttraction#visionboard and if they aren't, where should they be, or should they be eliminated completely in order to make space for things that matter more?

This is going to be my focus during the remaining days I have off this week leading into the new year in hopes of bringing forth more personal growth and wealth in my life in 2022.

My Why

 Since getting here, I have started to feel a desire to start over in other new ways. I had lost about 20 pounds before the pandemic started, but then have gained about 30 since then. I am at my highest weight ever and seeing it inch closer and closer to another 100 scared me to death. My family has always had problems with weight. Several members of my family (immediate and extended) have had gastric bypass or the gastric sleeve. I do not ever want to get to the point where I feel that is my only option. I'm glad they were able to do this, but I see other side effects that have come with it that I don't want to deal with for the rest of my life. Last summer, I tried intermittent fasting with the help of a medical professional and that didn't really get me anywhere. Lately, I've been seeing a lot of friends sharing their progress with another program, and I decided to take the leap and try it out. 

Why this? Why now? 

I have a lot of health issues- anxiety, depression, Hashimoto's hypothyroidism (and the multitude of issues that come along with that), and I want to try to get these things under control. The last thing I want is to develop another autoimmune disorder because this one can't get under control. I want to be the active person I once was. I would love to get back into martial arts, even if it's just kickboxing- in order to relieve the natural day to day stresses that come along with being a teacher. I want to feel strong and capable. Last month when we went up to Brian Head, I felt winded (yes, the altitude had a lot to do with it) much of the time. I want to be able to see a cute shirt or skirt and be able to wear it. I want to be there for my nieces and nephews, and possibly adopt a child of my own soon. These are things that I feel unable to do completely at this time.

My "before". My highest weight

Cedar Breaks, Utah

I would love to get back to this and even lower. I miss doing martial arts. I don't have the endurance now and my knees are horrible.

Life's journeys

New beginnings.

I seem to go through these phases every few years.

7 years ago I started over by leaving Utah and going to Texas. Nobody I knew was in Texas. I had no friends or family there, but I needed a fresh start. I was terrified but excited at the same time. I spent 4 years in the Houston area and 3 years in the Austin area. I had some of the most amazing experiences of my life. I was protected from a house fire (I moved just a month or two before my apartment building caught fire and was destroyed, which started in the unit right above mine) and four floods (one which was Hurricane Harvey). I lived alone and learned a lot about myself. I grew as a teacher and as a person. I am so grateful for the experiences I had there, even though I still suffer real PTSD from some of them. 

Home sickness is real. Every time I came home for Christmas I would feel the pull to move back and be closer to family. But this last Christmas it was undeniable. I don't know if it's because of the state of the world with the global pandemic and the political climate of America, or if it's because my mom has had some serious health issues the past few years, or if it's something else entirely, but I KNEW that it was time to move back, and I was heartbroken about it. For the first time in many years, I was in a school environment with teachers, a team, and admin that I loved. The students were amazing. I loved my town and thought it was beautiful. The thought of leaving all that to move back to the dry ugly urban desert was heartbreaking. But I knew I couldn't ignore these feelings, so I started to fill out applications for school districts in Nevada, Arizona, and west Texas. Then during Spring Break, instead of having my mom come out to Texas like she does each year, I came out to Vegas in hopes of doing some networking. I reached out to a couple of charter schools, and the public magnet school that my sister has taught at for a few years. By the end of the week, I had a strong job offer, as well as a charter school that wanted to offer me something. I totally did NOT expect that. I was given a solid offer to teach 4th grade at the magnet school, and I accepted it and began the process of getting a Nevada teaching license.

This all happened so fast! I totally didn't expect that. I went back home to Texas and began the process of packing and beginning to say goodbye to the beauty of such a special place. I hope to go back very soon and see friends and some new places. There's so much there that I never got to experience.

I know that Texas will always be a huge part of who I am. 

I will really miss living in the country. The sunsets were amazing! 

 

Fun moment while moving. We stopped to get gas in Ozona, Texas after several hours on our first day and this is what happened- blown out tire on the UHaul. I made my nephew take this for me.

I did it!

A few days ago a friend of mine and I were talking. "I am going to go rappelling later," he announced, "have you ever been?" About an hour later I found myself high atop DIXIE rock looking down and thinking, "What am I doing?" After a lot of encouragement and many silent prayers I took the plunge and gave gravity the middle finger.
Click here to watch me getting the nerve....
And click here to watch me rappel

Even though this was the scariest thing I think I have ever done in my life, I am so happy that I did it! I feel like it was such a huge accomplishment and something that I can reflect on when fear enters my mind and attempts to discourage me and keep me from accomplishing great things.